I talked with her, she said she was shocked (yet again) after reading my blog. She really cares about not waiting me to wait, I don’t doubt her intentions... but I’m a person who doesn’t even believe my mom is my mom 100% because who knows? Someday she might just reveal that I’m adopted? Well, it’s just an example showing that I’m not a person that believes 100% whatever I see or hear or experience so I will never be shocked soo much when I’m faced with the true fact, and that I was lied to for a very long time, I can still function properly.
It’s sad that I have to go through this again, rejection and all these things... I knew I was getting myself into trouble, someone had told me about it and reminded me that (ahh crap, I can’t quote it because it isn’t in my MSN history... ) just before I confessed to her... but that person told me not to linger between the door... so I decided to go out instead....
I wouldn’t say it’s a mistake, some decisions are not wrong nor right... I just told (1/01/06) a good friend about how a person should never regret his or her decisions at these kind of times because really, right and wrong has no perfect line between them, sometimes it’s how to take it that matters... if u REGRET your decision, THAT’s what makes it wrong...
Come to think of it, I love all my friends... I seriously do... someone told me there’s 5 types of love, but I can’t remember what are the 5 types... nevertheless, when I say I love someone, I mean it... so when I say I love all my friends, I really mean it too... I love ALL my family (mom, dad, bro... it goes on to cousin’s cousins... lol), I love Adrian (my best friend since 2002, call me gay all you want... I don’t fucking care...), I love J (this person might be alil taken back by this, so I rather not write his/her name... =P) I love K (actually, seriously, I love everyone around me... the list goes on, but really I don’t think it’s worth keep typing single letter names... lol)...
So yea, I’d still say I love you (*wink wink*), because I do really care about you... and it pains me to see any of my close ones suffering in any manner, so please, when I offer help, accept it, for my intentions are just only to make you happy. I do this to EVERYONE that’s close to me (or at least I try to) so you’re not specially treated in anyway, so please, don’t feel bad or it really really really makes it hard for me. I treat ALL my close ones like that...
Got to go eat breakfast then go college already... I think I’ll be blogging quite frequently these few months... so take care you all and may all beings be happy... =)
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