I solved my own problems, I helped others out, I was the guy who girls call up when they had problems... but I was alone... (I stopped here the other day and I’m too lazy to continue writing on this... >,<)
Well, day 2 of me loving her so immensely:-
I feel that she’s the one... and I can go on to how great her personality is and blah blah blah, but I feel that everyone that has gone through this situation will know how it’s like and there’s not much point for me to bleb about that here... rather, I’d like to share my experience on this in a different perspective...
As a grown up (well I’m 19 going on 20 in just a few days so I’m as grown up as I can be now... I guess... don’t think that made sense... >,<), I’ve been through this kindda situations 3 times... (well, basically I have 3 ex...) the last one was last year, around the same time (December holidays)... I kind of forgot how it would feel like, u know, these kindda feelings, thinking about her every second of my life (well, not really but it sure seems like it...), thinking how happy I’d be if we were together, how I’d take care of her, how I’d do anything for her, how I’d sacrifice myself for her, how I’d love her most importantly... if only she was mine (well, I don’t mean my property or anything like that [incase those women out there reads this] but I don’t know how to put it in simple and few words)... but sadly, life’s almost never the way you want it...
She says she’s confused on where her heart belongs... and well, it was never with me (never as in never had... >,< hopefully this doesn’t last too long...)
Thinking back, I wasn’t very successful with girls through out my life actually... I didn’t get my first crush, nor did I get my second (when I say crush I mean major ones like I think about her 24/7 for at least a few months), nor my third, nor my forth... only my fifth, I got with her... and that also she dumped me after hardly a week...
Sad huh, my love life... I had girls who liked me, but never enough for me to like them back, or rather, well, honestly, I only am sure about 3 girls who liked me in the past... the rest either there were none other or they were just too shy... not sure.. >.<
Among the girls who liked me, only the first one I think I had a chance... but that was back in primary school, and you know... I don’t know about these things... and I didn’t do anything, I even pretended not to know... so... >,<
The second was just... erm... I rather skip this incase she reads this... same goes for the third... >,< sorry!
So yea, if this is a trend, out of the girls I admired so far, I actually only gotten 1 of them... that was my second ex... my first was just a failure, my third, I rather not talk about it here... this isn’t a very good odd for me... and on top of that, I’m going to Aussie on Feb. 14th... yea.. valentine’s day... not that I had many good valentine’s day or even dated a girl on that day, it was always either with my gf (that time) or just another normal day where I get left out... so I don’t really care much honestly...
So if she were to take in account that if we were on a relationship it would be a long distance relationship, and that she might feel insecure that I’m all the way there and all, I really can’t do much about assuring her that I’ll remain loyal... and ironically, we only met this year and only started talking to each other just like 2 months back... so the excuse of we don’t really know each other is valid...
This is true... but for me, I know that she’s special, she’s different, she’s one in a million... but then again, don’t we all feel that when we’re in love... so these kindda excuse again isn’t valid... but really... she’s different... >,< and I guess I can go on blabbing about I’ll never find another angel like her and so on and so forth...
Since we’re there, this reminds me that I actually wrote a whole essay on a girl I had a crush on (oh crap, I missed this one out when I mentioned about the crushes I had, but this one was a failure too anyway coz she had a bf... till now....) and actually passed it up to teacher to mark... then she asked me to read it out to the class becoz it was soo hilarious... lol i’ll post it here for all to read because it’s quite interesting... ^,^
here it is!!
Crap, because of this thing my templates are all messed up... :( my profile is all the way down there now... sigh... Guess somethings gotta give...
I wish that this relationship I’m trying to have was like a job or university I’m trying to get in... because then I’ll know what exactly I have to do to get it, and if I don’t get it, I know that I’m just not good enough, or I asked too much, or something else, but the reason is clear... but sadly that isn’t true for relationships.... first of all, there’s no entry requirements, u can’t send in your resume, a CV and your final results... I kindda wish I could do that because if good results were an entry requirement of this relationship, oh god, I’d be studying every single second of the day... lol but no, it isn’t like that...
If it were a resume- hey, actually it isn’t a bad idea to send a resume to her... lol I think it would be sweet... well, technically it would be a love letter in a form of a resume... lol k, that would be something I’d do in within 5 days... or rather now, then I’ll get back to this when I feel like to...
Take care people, and if there’s ever anything any of you need that is in my capability, feel free to contact me, I’ll try my best to attend to your needs... =)
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