I'm mortal again

17-10-2021

Troubles waking up again. I guess alcohol does that to you. 

Shooting Star

"If you're not looking out for a shooting star, you will never find one to wish on."

0315 2021-09-13

In Chess

In chess, we create imbalances and try to use those imbalances to eek out a victory. 

E.g., trade a bishop for a knight, sacrifice a pawn for better development, etc.

No one really wants a boring balanced game throughout and no one plays for a draw, for fun anyway, strategy for tournament victories etc. aside.

Similarly in life, we create imbalances to differentiate ourselves and then use that differentiation to pursue our goals. Life is never fair anyway, so we don't have to make that decision to create that imbalance. It is given. The only question is how can we use that differentiation to eek out an advantage where we can leverage on? 

Sucks

It sucks to outgrow someone you admire. First my bro, now my mentor, SC.

I've Figured It Out

 For the longest time I had a fear of becoming evil. Since my teenage years, I gravitated towards power. The intentions were good, I wanted control, I wanted influence because I wanted to make the world a better place.

For years, I've accumulated power, and wealth since. Thinking with wealth, comes power, and with power, comes the ability to make a change in the world. 

But after reading the chapter on Ignorance in Yuval Noah Harari's book, 21 Lessons for the 21st Century. I was deeply troubled for weeks. In this chapter, Harari described power as a blackhole that sucks everything in and attracts others that seek power. Like in a blackhole, your concept of time is distorted and because everyone would want your power for their own gain, you would be distorted as well. Your reality becomes detached from others and you will live in dark.

I pondered on this for weeks, wondering what should I do now? Now that almost my entire life I've been chasing power, should I stop? Where should I go then? 

Then in this morning's meditation (11-Feb, 2021). I figured it out. Evil IS seeking that permanent control over others, more and more. Evil IS thinking that you know more than others and your ideas alone, are worthy of praise. Evil IS that addiction to grandiosity. Doesn't matter if your intentions are good, many modern day films and movies tries to teach us that. Many of our modern day villains in fiction had great intentions. They suffered in their childhood and wanted to protect others from suffering the same way, but their efforts were towards asserting themselves on top of others to prevent that past from happening again. Some villains were born because they were pushed down and bullied one too many times, in self-defense, they snapped and wanted to be bullied no more. I wouldn't know what I'd do in their positions, I don't see myself as a fighter and would probably give up much sooner than what these guys did. 

So Evil IS about pride, that first sin tells us a lot about controlling our egos. So what is Good then? If we study the seven deadly sins, the virtue that's opposite of pride is Humility. Yes, that's it, one word. If you have true Humility, there is no way you can be Evil anymore.