The Change in Me (History)

A new Ninja is born from the ashes that were burnt by his parents. Yes, I was burned inside. Deeply in the depths of my heart. The up coming of this new Ninja will succeed. He will, he must. I was told to change by my brother, parents and my relatives. Saying this Ninja is too cocky and over confident. It’s sad they couldn’t see through me and times up. I can not take this torture anymore of not having anyone to understand me from deep within.

Like all humans, I have layers. For this New Year’s resolution. I told myself to combine the two layers, so I will not ever have to play two face every again. But I was greatly defied. Not by my enemies. But my very own love ones. No one could understand the change and they all thought it’s a bad thing.

When they see it’s a bad thing. They try to change me back. I tried again and again shouting my lungs out that this will do well in the future. But no one was listening. No one at all.

So it’s time to face the fact of this cruel unreasonable, unfair world. No one can survive it by being purely sincere. At least I’m not strong enough to do that yet. Not at this age, not in this situation. The Diamond Cutter is a good book no doubt. But can’t be practiced by a teenager. For their parents feel threatened by the sudden change in them.

As a teenager get happier and happier enjoying their life. Somehow, people around them will be against them. Opposing them, not letting them to be too happy. It this right? I mean when you see someone happy, I understand its human nature to pull that guy back to your status. It’s weird why humans react that way, when someone’s happy and their not, they will make them unhappy so they will feel happier.

Does my reader understand my pain? My own very parents, when I’m happy and their not, makes me unhappy so they feel happier is this world. Is this right? Tell me. Why, of all people my own very parents.

I was devastated this morning. When I realize even after my dad “forgave” me last night, he still kept grudges against me. I send him a sms telling him to read my blog, and he replied with harsh words. Harsh words I never seen coming out from him before. And he cut all the way in.

I was lost, confused and totally did not understand his actions. That is when I realize what I’m doing now is wrong. This post will only be on for a few hours for I don’t want my parents reading this. And I might even shut my whole blog down for I do not feel my parents are supporting me fully in everything I do. Until then, I’ll carry on with my book writing.

In the mean time, I will back off in to my cave of myself. I must say I am difficult to understand but I do expect my parents to at least try. Can’t they even do that? Instead of refusing to believe the obvious that I am not normal. I can see in them, everyday they wish me to be just a normal kid but I refuse. I totally refuse.

I feel that I can do much better in this world being abnormal. And if my parents refuses to understand this fact. Oh believe me, I have tried many times to try to make them understand but I failed. I don’t know which part I did wrong but I failed.

So now I will be normal in their eyes. So normal that they’d never understand the Ninja within me EVER again. I’m giving up, its way to hurtful and time consuming to make an old folk believe in a miracle.

My parents keep telling me over and over again that they both combine it would be more then 100 years old and they experience FAR exceeds mine. They do not believe in my theory of reincarnation. For what’s 100 years if I have live just one extra life then them?

This theory can be crap to some but I believe it. For many things I do I feel I’ve done it before, many books I read I feel I read it before. So if they refuse to take this into their mind and continue to be stubborn, I’m far too young and unwise to do anything for now.

Maybe later, much later after I am successful and gain my parents totally respect I’ll again try to explain to them that they had been wrong about me. So wrong that they no longer support me in my life but became a burden that I have to carry on my shoulders. I cannot bare it any longer. I can not.