My Past (History)

This a post that I'm not too proud of


It’s true I wasn’t too perfect in the past. And because of that, I’ve became most infamous. Some one took advantage of that and spread my imperfection. I wasn’t too smart then as well. Cause I let him do it. I let him ruin my life and make my life most miserable. Everyday, I try my best to impress people around me, not knowing that is my greatest mistake. Everyday I became more and more unhappy. Everyday I go home thinking what did I do wrong. I became depressed. And the more depressed I was, the more this one person took advantage of it. Thinking he was a friend. I was MOST wrong. He was a bastard, a back stabber, a hypocrite. That is what he is. Finally one day he went over board with his jokes and I realized that I don’t need this guy in my life. I don’t need him to have fun. The whole bunch of people I had mixed with. They were all hypocrites. They remain in the shadows of this guy. He was the leader of this group, everyone just followed. He decides where to go and where to have fun most of the time. Everyone else just followed. When he laughs at someone, everyone followed. And guess who he laughs at most of the time? Me… I endured it for a very long time. Not knowing why. But now, I’ve realized that this guy is no friend of mine. He is an ass. As formal as I am typing this blog, I can’t find any better words to suit him. A dog, a lifeless asshole which produces nothing but shit. All that he says and does are all crap and meant to be flushed down into a toilet bowl. As now I am, I am happy without this guy in my life, true friends are becoming clearer to me, those hypocrites are also clearer to me. Now I choose my friends wisely. Only now I realize how stupid I was to put myself in that position to let him push me so far down that I can hardly see the sky. Made me so small that I forgot that how many true friend I really have and I do not need this ass to have fun. One thing I most did not understand bout him. He can be nice. Oh yes he can. He’s nice to his girlfriend, he’s nice to his other friends. But somehow, he never forgave my imperfection. Every single mistake I made, he laughed at me. Throw hurtful words at me. I never showed it. Of cause I never did. I am a boy, I have ego in me, I pretended I enjoyed his “jokes”. I will not name this person. But for those who knows me well enough. Would know who this ass is. I hate him. I despise him to the maximum. But because I do not believe in revenge. I did not do anything in responds. I just live on with my life. And so I am here, writing this blog. To share among those who knows what it’s like to be pushed down. To be kicked around emotionally. To be talked bad about... I have to add that I may have exaggerated some points.. But that was how I felt...