Love
Author
Ong, Ning-Jia
Citation
Ong, Ning-Jia (2012). Love. Journal of Love, 1(3). 1-4. doi: 16.1437//0603-0204.219.1.987
Abstract
Since the beginning of 2006 after my last relationship, I started doing surveys of my friends around me regarding what they think about love. Comments were neatly categorized into "positive", "neutral", and "negative". Then I used those comments on every date for the next six years to study the reaction I received from a sample size of 30 girls. Results have shown that my hypothesis on how love starts is flawed and initial attraction does not simply start because of outward appearance. I have found many different variables that include (1) expectations, (2) reputations, (3) first conversations, (4) follow up meetings, and (5) future information learned from other sources. After many trials and errors, I have concluded that there are no sure ways of gaining mutual understanding between two people. One needs to first understand themselves before hoping anyone else to understand them before achieving a love life.
Introduction
Since there was the first human on earth, there were many words in many languages to describe love. Some categorized it under emotions, others categorized it under magic strong enough to curse entire civilizations to destruction. To fully understand the meaning of love in English, I had to investigate all meanings in five other languages (Chinese, Malay, Hindi, Greek, and Hebrew) to get an overview of how love should be defined. My definition of love is an emotional disturbance developed when an individual meets the opposite sex. However, there are exceptions to this definition that cannot explain gay and lesbian relationships. Also, I have excluded definitions of love from religious scriptures because there are too many and too complicated.
Although the study of love is technically classified under the school of psychology, there are many biological factors to consider as well. For example, there are hormones involved by both individuals as well as physical appearance matches. Moreover, there are many evolutionary theories that tried to explain love. Most of them detailing facts of males attracted to big boobs and big hips are because males look for females that are physically excelling at reproduction and nurturing of their young.
In this article, I will underline many facts confirmed by past research and expend on their theories. The independent variables are comments about love that were categorized into three groups - "positive "," neutral and negative. The dependant variables are results received from a questionnaire during each of the three of stages of love - (1) pre-love, (2) during love, and (3) post-love. Compounding factors that were considered were - (1) expectations, (2) reputations, (3) first conversations, (4) follow up meetings, and (5) future information learned from other sources. That changes during each other the stages of love.
Method
The study was done from 2006 till 2012 in both Malaysia and Australia by me alone. Materials required for this study include questionnaires, 30 girls and I.
In the first few months, I collected data regarding opinions of love from 90 friends of mine. I categorized each opinion into three groups of "positive", "neutral" and "negative. Then, I used those comments interchangeably in the next few years in all my relationships with girls, carefully studying each relationship closely and recording their reactions to my comments.
After having dated 30 girls, I collected 150 reaction comments and categorized them into three groups: (1) pre-love, (2) during love, and (3) post-love. I labeled each reaction into "positive", "neutral" and "negative".
Results
Table 1: comments collected from all dates
| Negative | Neutral | Positive | Total | ||
| Pre-love | Negative | 3 | 0 | 0 | 3 |
| Neutral | 3 | 15 | 2 | 20 | |
| Positive | 2 | 0 | 3 | 5 | |
| During love | Negative | 5 | 2 | 1 | 8 |
| Neutral | 1 | 10 | 4 | 15 | |
| Positive | 8 | 12 | 35 | 55 | |
| Post-love | Negative | 22 | 1 | 1 | 24 |
| Neutral | 3 | 8 | 1 | 12 | |
| Positive | 3 | 2 | 3 | 8 | |
| Total | 50 | 50 | 50 | 150 | |
 |
| Graph 1: bar chart of results collected |
The results show that even that across all three groups, "negative reactions" increase "post-love" in the "negative comment" group. On the other hand, "positive reactions" always increase "during love" regardless of what comments were used and decrease drastically "post-love" back to its original state in "pre-love". All other data collected were not significant.
Discussion
While there were many objections to my study regarding participant consent and other ethical reasons, it was still completed because I was not applying for an honors program at University of New South Wales and really wanted to do my own study. The study was really fun to do since most of it is imaginary and entirely fictional but even so, it has its own conclusions.
I concluded that love cannot be defined generally because each individual has their own definition of love. They describe love through their experiences in life and should not be judged in any regard. I abhor arrogance in this regard and despise anyone who brings it upon themselves to dictate what love should be and certify it on a piece of paper only to those that "qualify". Although, I have my own problems facing trails of love but I always try to keep my negative comments to myself because it is up to my friends how they want to figure it out. I had many problems in the past trying to interfere with other's love but I have learned that I should keep my opinions to myself and only share them with those who seek it.
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