Friday, January 26, 2007

The Door that was Never there...

You told me there was a wall, but I mistook it as a door.
I was too far back then, to see that stupid wall.
I thought you couldn’t see me too that’s why I walked closer.
But as I came closer, I got too excited.
I decided to run, giving in to the temptation.
I thought things will change, as I got nearer.
I thought the door would open soon, but there was never a door.
Just when I was an inch a way, I opened my eyes a little wider.
That’s when I realize, the door was never there.
The wall was always a wall, it shut her in and kept me out...

Sunday, January 21, 2007

The Veronicas - Speechless

Title : Speechless
Artist(s) : Veronicas, The
Album(s) : The Secret Life Of... (2005), Track 8

Feels like I have always known you
And I swear I dreamt about you
All those endless nights I was alone
It's like I've spent forever searching
Now I know that it was worthed
With you it feels like I am finally home

Falling head over heels
Thought I knew how it feels
But with you it's like the first day of my life

'Cuz you leave me speechless when you talk to me
You leave me breathless the way you look at me
You manage to disarm me, my soul is shining through
Can't help but surrender my everything to you

I thought I could resist you
I thought that I was strong
Somehow you were different from what I've known
I didn't see you coming
You took me by surprise and
You stole my heart before I could say no

Falling head over heels
Thought I knew how it feels
But with you it's like the first day of my life

You leave me speechless when you talk to me
You leave me breathless the way you look at me
You manage to disarm me, my soul is shining through
I can't help but surrender my everything to you

You leave me speechless (the way you smile, the way you touch my face)
You leave me breathless (it's something that you do I can't explain)
I'd run a million miles just to hear you say my name
Baby

You leave me speechless
You leave me breathless (the way you look at me)
You manage to disarm me, my soul is shining through
I can't help but surrender my everything to you

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Females...

“There were a few that were interesting, but none that were exceptional.” – Words from... well, I thought she was exceptional, but since she herself said none were exceptional... hmm... tongue tied... >,<

Starting from last year, I have changed my ways of looking for friends. For the better or worse, it’s a change. In the old days, I use to make an effort of knowing as many people as I can, introducing myself to all and I mean ALL. Thus, I had many friends indeed, knowing many from other schools, young or old, through the activities I join and the tuitions I attended.

I was immature back then, I have known many females back in my days, few WERE interesting, in those few, some were also exceptional, but sadly, I didn’t keep them. People like... err... crap... lol I can’t remember any exceptional ones from DJ at this moment... >,< ok, after 5 secs, maybe Rachel Ngu, and erm... Wey Yiing? Either way, I didn’t keep them either... personally I don’t think Wey Yiing likes me allot allot... can’t blame her too, I was a jerk back in my secondary school days...

Non-DJ people I know a few, like Loo Penny, Alicia Chow, Emily Chan, Serena, Lydia (all these from DU... lol) and Jo (from er... I forgot where... lol but I met her in OBS) all these people are amazing people. They may not be the best scores, not the prettiest people I’ve seen, but the most wholesome... they all are going to be successful in life I’m sure... they all are such nice people that I really can’t see them going the wrong way in life.

Well, I guess I gotta mention I few guys too... lol like Brian (also known as “Z”) from tailors CPU now (also met him in OBS), Jonathan Lim (DU-ian), and of course my best friend Adrian Lim and Junde.

And oh yea! My cousins!! Adelle and Anthea... they’re great people too, so are they’re cousins (no no, not me, but they’re father side’s)... thanks to great parents like my aunt and uncle... =P

And all these years, of all the special people I met, I could click with them. Not until I met you... so yea, don’t tell me they are many fishes in the sea, because of all those fishes, only few are interesting... in those few, hardly a handful are exceptional... and in that handful, only ONE is edible...

Sunday, January 07, 2007

Poem 101

This poem is edited from the song lyric "My Selene" by Sonata Arctica which is originally a really beautiful lyric...
This is the only poem I blogged that isn't original, I apologize if I offended Sonata Arctica or any of his fans for doing so...
Solitude's upon my skin
A life that's bound by the chains of reality
Would you let me be your Endymion?

I won't bathe in your moonlight, and slumber in peace
Enchanted by your smile, which is forever missed

But until we unite
I live for that night
Wait for time
Two souls entwine

In the break of new dawn
My hope is forlorn
Shadows, they will fade
I'm always in the shade

Serene and silent sky
Rays of moon are dancing with the tide
A perfect sight, a world divine

And I...

The loneliest child alive
Always waiting, searching for my rhyme
I'm still alone in the dead of night

Silent I lie with smile on my face,
Appearance deceives and the silence betrays

As I wait for the time
My dream comes alive
Always out of sight
But never out of mind

In the end, I'm enslaved by my dream
In the end, a cliff devours me, it seems

Hidden from daylight, I'm sealed in my cave
Trapped in a dream, turning to a nightmare
Where I'm all alone...
Venial is life when you're but a dream
The book’s still open, the pages empty, like me...

I cling to a hope that's beginning to fade,
Trying to break the desolation I hate

By the light of new day
I'll fade away
Reality cuts deep
My mistakes begins to seep

Saturday, January 06, 2007

Sonata Arctica

I’m so tied up... I really need to say I love you... I really do... it churns me inside so much, that if I don’t let it out, the weight in my heart will just multiply... and drag me down to the floor... I’m sorry, but I have to tell someone that I love you...

Well, technically I could just tell someone that doesn’t know you, but I hope you understand that won’t help much... so here I am, typing it here, half hoping that you might read it...

I really love you shaleni/selina... I really do...

"Solitude's upon my skin. A life that's bound by the chains of reality. Would you let me be your Endymion?" – Sonata Arctica

not that I understand much of this quote... but well, I guess the first sentence means I’m bound to be lonely, my life is tied up by many things (e.g. me not suppose to say "I love you" to you... >,< [it's just an example... =P]). The last part is well, no biggy...

sigh... if you do find out about this post... I’m really sorry you gotta read it... but I really can’t help it, I hope you won’t get mad... >,< if you don’t, well, at least I had the comfort of letting it out... =)

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Love? Depends how you define it...

I talked with her, she said she was shocked (yet again) after reading my blog. She really cares about not waiting me to wait, I don’t doubt her intentions... but I’m a person who doesn’t even believe my mom is my mom 100% because who knows? Someday she might just reveal that I’m adopted? Well, it’s just an example showing that I’m not a person that believes 100% whatever I see or hear or experience so I will never be shocked soo much when I’m faced with the true fact, and that I was lied to for a very long time, I can still function properly.

It’s sad that I have to go through this again, rejection and all these things... I knew I was getting myself into trouble, someone had told me about it and reminded me that (ahh crap, I can’t quote it because it isn’t in my MSN history... ) just before I confessed to her... but that person told me not to linger between the door... so I decided to go out instead....

I wouldn’t say it’s a mistake, some decisions are not wrong nor right... I just told (1/01/06) a good friend about how a person should never regret his or her decisions at these kind of times because really, right and wrong has no perfect line between them, sometimes it’s how to take it that matters... if u REGRET your decision, THAT’s what makes it wrong...

Come to think of it, I love all my friends... I seriously do... someone told me there’s 5 types of love, but I can’t remember what are the 5 types... nevertheless, when I say I love someone, I mean it... so when I say I love all my friends, I really mean it too... I love ALL my family (mom, dad, bro... it goes on to cousin’s cousins... lol), I love Adrian (my best friend since 2002, call me gay all you want... I don’t fucking care...), I love J (this person might be alil taken back by this, so I rather not write his/her name... =P) I love K (actually, seriously, I love everyone around me... the list goes on, but really I don’t think it’s worth keep typing single letter names... lol)...

So yea, I’d still say I love you (*wink wink*), because I do really care about you... and it pains me to see any of my close ones suffering in any manner, so please, when I offer help, accept it, for my intentions are just only to make you happy. I do this to EVERYONE that’s close to me (or at least I try to) so you’re not specially treated in anyway, so please, don’t feel bad or it really really really makes it hard for me. I treat ALL my close ones like that...

Got to go eat breakfast then go college already... I think I’ll be blogging quite frequently these few months... so take care you all and may all beings be happy... =)